Time Not Well Spent…

Standard

Peering at my phone clock every early morning, it almost always says : 3:59am (or around that region)… Me, snoozing until 4:30 (trying to go back to sleep, but can’t), then finally, feeling motivated of what I can do more on this wee hour before everybody gets awake, I stand up thinking that I will finally be able to do this “grand” task I been holding back to do.

Then in habitual motions, I will grab my mobile, check the time, walk to the loo browsing my mails, glance at my calendars and reminders (and noticing that few have “moved” since I wrote them)… Remind myself to set get to do those… Then will goes back to the mails and messages while having my ginger-lemon tea…

I intend to go straight to my working table, for that design to make, or blog to write, or art to create or some accounting to do… Until everybody gets awake… Oh I always have that noble intentions…. That’s the plan… Well, That is ALWAYS the plan…

And it always didn’t happen.  Distracted. Unfocused. Disorganized… my motions are as if dictated by every mail I opened, every order that sent my way, every query by clients, every concern by our production people, every trivial errand that is either due or already past due. Time passed and did I accomplish anything? I mean, the way I planned it…

So, this is the consequence of me having so “much” time in my hand… Since I resigned from my corporate job, I thought that I always have the time in the world to do what I love to do, or if not done soon enough, I always have that “tomorrow.”

I have sooo much free time…

And that, I realized, is a bad notion… now I feel that the habit of “free-time, free-willing” motions now got into me. These habits now overtake me. Hate to admit it, but I have not done much for myself that I can be proud of.

The plans for the year crumbled, the plans for the month just didn’t happen…. So much so, even the plans for the DAY is just like a day-dream.

Checking my mobile clock this early morning, and its 3:59am again. Feeling thankful for another extra hour for this extra day in my life… But how will I best spend it again?

Maybe I will buy a night clock today to stop myself holding my mobile phone every morning.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s