Author Archives: butterfly effect :@

Conquer the Mountain

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Conquer the mountain, because its there….

Let’s conquer Mt. Ulap at Benguet next week?

I used to get excited whenever there is an invitation for outdoor adventure like hiking, trekking or spelunking… but now, I had this feeling of slight dread and yes, shame…

The truth, I’m not in shape (literally and mentally) to do such extraneous adventure now… and just the thought of it, brings bit of cringe on my spine… Maybe the physical aspect cannot outdo any mind-setting I will do now… Not yet ready.

Good thing, it made me realized how I used to LOVE to dare adventure and just do it…  I realized how I neglected my self/ health big time recently… no alibis to be given… nope…. If my mind can WILL myself to shape-up, maybe its not yet too late…

So let’s conquer Mt. Ulap next week? ohhhh no, not next week….

Let’s goal to start with easy level by next month… Mt. Maculot, maybe.  Nevertheless, I will have to conquer first my OWN mountain. think-2

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Time Not Well Spent…

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Peering at my phone clock every early morning, it almost always says : 3:59am (or around that region)… Me, snoozing until 4:30 (trying to go back to sleep, but can’t), then finally, feeling motivated of what I can do more on this wee hour before everybody gets awake, I stand up thinking that I will finally be able to do this “grand” task I been holding back to do.

Then in habitual motions, I will grab my mobile, check the time, walk to the loo browsing my mails, glance at my calendars and reminders (and noticing that few have “moved” since I wrote them)… Remind myself to set get to do those… Then will goes back to the mails and messages while having my ginger-lemon tea…

I intend to go straight to my working table, for that design to make, or blog to write, or art to create or some accounting to do… Until everybody gets awake… Oh I always have that noble intentions…. That’s the plan… Well, That is ALWAYS the plan…

And it always didn’t happen.  Distracted. Unfocused. Disorganized… my motions are as if dictated by every mail I opened, every order that sent my way, every query by clients, every concern by our production people, every trivial errand that is either due or already past due. Time passed and did I accomplish anything? I mean, the way I planned it…

So, this is the consequence of me having so “much” time in my hand… Since I resigned from my corporate job, I thought that I always have the time in the world to do what I love to do, or if not done soon enough, I always have that “tomorrow.”

I have sooo much free time…

And that, I realized, is a bad notion… now I feel that the habit of “free-time, free-willing” motions now got into me. These habits now overtake me. Hate to admit it, but I have not done much for myself that I can be proud of.

The plans for the year crumbled, the plans for the month just didn’t happen…. So much so, even the plans for the DAY is just like a day-dream.

Checking my mobile clock this early morning, and its 3:59am again. Feeling thankful for another extra hour for this extra day in my life… But how will I best spend it again?

Maybe I will buy a night clock today to stop myself holding my mobile phone every morning.

Only Few Things…

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Yesterday was a windy fine day, I was left alone in the house and actually enjoying my time and the wind outside… Just a few minutes later, I smell smoke and saw that our street is so foggy… Panic and shouting on the street… I raced outside and saw big fire engulfing the second floor of our neighbor’s house, just 3 house away from us! What to do?!

Ohh that next few moments are played in speed fast-forward… Calling my husband, calling fire dept, securing my important papers in boxes, cuddling my dog, texting my brothers, putting other stuff near the door,  running outside and inside our house (by then also filled of smoke), doing that and more… and maybe not in that particular order… I tried to keep my focus… But I admit, it was a teary moment and I was in a bit in terror.

Firemen took some time to arrive (or maybe we are just expecting them too soon). I must have overreacted but who knows. But on those few moments, I have few things that I realized:

1. That my important things that worth saving is only just 2 small boxes. After filling those, I dont know what else to pick and seemed everything else are no longer important.

2. So why do I have so much stuff than I should? Maybe its now the time to unclutter.

3. No, our house is not yet insured. But we thought of it months ago, a day ago… But have not done anything yet to insure it)…

4. Our safety must be always our top priority. What if it happened in our house? What if it happened at night? Have to think of escape plan and have to tell my kids… Have to tell also my son (now in a dorm) to know their fire drill.

5. Dont be too complecent in life… We should not take life, or every moment, for granted… Anything can happen in blink of an eye…

All is well now, our house, that one by the tree, is OK. We are OK. Hope their dog is Ok, she still missing, she was rescued from chain by the firemen and run to I dont know where…

After this, just like any tragedy or near-tragedy, we hope to learn few lessons and appreciate those few important things…

Time Really Flies…

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Last week I attended a school activity… I peeked in the room to call Aliya, and waited outside the door… I knew I was looking at

that LINE on the door (where two painted colors meet), expecting subconciously that her head will pop out somewhere below that line. I clearly remember my surprise how in the world is she so taller than that, that she almost bumped her face to mine. Never thought she will get taller or bigger actually. Ohh, I questioned my mind, why it has a wrong imprint of  my everyday image of her… Or maybe this is now the reality…. Oh-ohh…

Somehow life is happening in a blink of our eyes. And made us wondering what happened in between. My kids grow before my eyes, and I’m always amazed (and yet worried), not remembering how they gets so tall, or so lean, or so manly-looking (or teen-looking) … or anything but just my babies anymore…

Well, everytime, whenever “regrets” creep in for time gone or moments lost, I have to remind myself that I have to seize that very moment, right that minute to capture that looks, that voice, that words, that actuation, that smiles of my sons/daughter, and “bottle” that memories just that….Freeze!

Because sooner in the future, I will ask again… When does the time gone? And will probably miss this exact moment in the time of my kids…

Later on the that school discussion, I almost suggested that they should change the paint colors of the doors…

The Adventure is Out There

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The coming days from now and the near and far future is somewhat “new” to me as I embark on my next chapter of my life. After long years of being part of a corporate world, I am now on my own…. There are fears, yes; hesitations, definitely; worries, for sure …. But there are really moments of great anticipation and excitement. I know I have prepared myself enough for this, and I am more than ready. I Know!

Talking more about positivity, I am now beginning to embrace (and enjoying) the “freedom” I have now. It’s more of the luxury of my time to do what I think really matters now to me. To see again what I am capable of doing in different fields. To experience again the new and renewed energy and creativity. To rekindle again relationships. To enjoy the extra time spent just playing and creating and keep on learning. The possibilities are endless… so why hesitate, why worry.

The adventure… the grand adventure begins (again)…

Going Back to Arts and Designs

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These past weeks was really a creative week. The business (Pillow Me) have “forced” me again to tap on my creativity.  I believe creativity is not just IDEAS, but it involves a lot of execution, errors and explorations. Practice is Progress.  Creation is the Culmination.  No pressure to please everybody but strive to be true to self and whatever we call “art” by our own definition.

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I’m pleased though with a few of my own creation or enhancement of pillow designs. I will continue to go on having  my own branding or icon in my pillows and be more unique and bold.  I will commit for the meantime these “ideas” that I have to follow-through soon: Embroidered wall art; Calligraphy & Embroidery; Customized Child’s Milestone in Embro; Pillow Me Icon on Cute pillows; Print & Embro plushies; Hoodie travel pillows.

Wk5 – Executing Ideas on Pillows

 

Repost: Sto Nino de Bustos Church: Art by my Kuya Lito SJ

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A repost from August 23 2010 entry… sharing again my Kuya’s Art…

From my Kuya Lito whom I am getting a lot of inspiration and advise and words of wisdom: Like..

“Its alright to start late… think of Vincent Van Gogh…” (about never give up on your dreams and taking action)

“Jump the cliff… you just build your wings on your way down”  (about taking courage on big decisions to make)

August 2010 post:

Just want to share the painting of my brother inspired by my photo of Sto Nino de Bustos Church at Bustos Bulacan:

see more of his works at:
Lito’s Abstract Horizon

Going back to art is not too late for me, I guess. Creativity needs to be tapped and practiced… I believe, there is no such thing as creativity in ideas… only in execution.

Wk4 – Exploring Arts and Designs