Category Archives: Butterfly Effect

Time Not Well Spent…

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Peering at my phone clock every early morning, it almost always says : 3:59am (or around that region)… Me, snoozing until 4:30 (trying to go back to sleep, but can’t), then finally, feeling motivated of what I can do more on this wee hour before everybody gets awake, I stand up thinking that I will finally be able to do this “grand” task I been holding back to do.

Then in habitual motions, I will grab my mobile, check the time, walk to the loo browsing my mails, glance at my calendars and reminders (and noticing that few have “moved” since I wrote them)… Remind myself to set get to do those… Then will goes back to the mails and messages while having my ginger-lemon tea…

I intend to go straight to my working table, for that design to make, or blog to write, or art to create or some accounting to do… Until everybody gets awake… Oh I always have that noble intentions…. That’s the plan… Well, That is ALWAYS the plan…

And it always didn’t happen.  Distracted. Unfocused. Disorganized… my motions are as if dictated by every mail I opened, every order that sent my way, every query by clients, every concern by our production people, every trivial errand that is either due or already past due. Time passed and did I accomplish anything? I mean, the way I planned it…

So, this is the consequence of me having so “much” time in my hand… Since I resigned from my corporate job, I thought that I always have the time in the world to do what I love to do, or if not done soon enough, I always have that “tomorrow.”

I have sooo much free time…

And that, I realized, is a bad notion… now I feel that the habit of “free-time, free-willing” motions now got into me. These habits now overtake me. Hate to admit it, but I have not done much for myself that I can be proud of.

The plans for the year crumbled, the plans for the month just didn’t happen…. So much so, even the plans for the DAY is just like a day-dream.

Checking my mobile clock this early morning, and its 3:59am again. Feeling thankful for another extra hour for this extra day in my life… But how will I best spend it again?

Maybe I will buy a night clock today to stop myself holding my mobile phone every morning.

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The Adventure is Out There

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The coming days from now and the near and far future is somewhat “new” to me as I embark on my next chapter of my life. After long years of being part of a corporate world, I am now on my own…. There are fears, yes; hesitations, definitely; worries, for sure …. But there are really moments of great anticipation and excitement. I know I have prepared myself enough for this, and I am more than ready. I Know!

Talking more about positivity, I am now beginning to embrace (and enjoying) the “freedom” I have now. It’s more of the luxury of my time to do what I think really matters now to me. To see again what I am capable of doing in different fields. To experience again the new and renewed energy and creativity. To rekindle again relationships. To enjoy the extra time spent just playing and creating and keep on learning. The possibilities are endless… so why hesitate, why worry.

The adventure… the grand adventure begins (again)…

Children Got Cancer, too…. Please don’t look away

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Children Got Cancer too, please don’t look away. Today, I visited Phil General Hospital, with my humble petty gifts of pillows for the children of Pediatric ward for cancer patients. I have made a promise a couple of months ago that I will return with donations of pillows which the doctors specifically asked. Petty my gifts are, but I hope it will bring smiles to their face.

It was heart-breaking yet so inspiring how they are trying to be strong to fight the big C, though their body is so small and frail. It is also admirable how are their parents and lolas are so patiently and tenderly caring for them, keeping also the brave spirit.

Other petty stuff and problems became so irrelevant when you are at this place where one thing that is SO important is to hang on to the fragile thread of what we call Life.

Hope I can do more to cheer them. Or give what keep us all “hanging in there” …. Hope.

52weeks Adventure/ Challenge

Week 3 – Charity Works at PGH

#52weeksnibabel

Be Hands On! (Wk 2 – Go Read Books and Be Inspired… Again)

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Haven’t read books in a while, but I got this recently in National’s sale box. And glad I did. It made me inspired again, and brought back the volunteerism spirit that seemed lulling for a while. Just like any other projects and ideas and aspirations that I have unconsciously (or maybe deliberately) “abandoned” because of everyday grinding schedules and stress (alibi, alibi)…

 Been thinking when was the last time that I made meaningful acts of volunteerism or deliberate act of charity works? In past years, I usually took time to plan and schedule and save for those “events”. Maybe its not too late again. Well, nothing is too late if one starts NOW.

In my small way, will do something meaningful to help or any random act of kindness everyday starting Today (again).

52weeks Adventure/Challenge

Week 2 – Go Read Those Books and Be Inspired

The Years of …. Let me think….

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Going back to blogging here is quite a small challenge. Well, I think I have to rake again my confidence to write even a simple note.  A courage, should I say.

Blogging I say is just my one way of having some sort of “accountability-partner” to help me commit or maybe put me in to-terms with my everyday moment, AWARE and all FIRED-UP.  That was the purpose I think why I have this blog 6 years back.

But as I reviewed my page now, and saw my stats, its quite too disappointing… to see, what? 1 blog year… haha… not even one last year (well there are 50 drafts beneath it, but that doesnt count, I know)… But here was the time gone… And where was I??

That was the question really… and lots of regrets actually…

Time passed, and I realized, that I somewhat “wasted” (oh such a strong word!) my time for the past ummm 2 years… doing practically things that just keep me by, or shall I say, just cruising and doing things “aimlessly” (ouch again)… I realized that I have not “hooked-up” myself in some grand plan or aspiration. Looking back, I wonder, what did I accomplish? or at least what did I contribute? I forgot, or I just not very interesting even to mention.

Well, bear with me, I will engage myself in lots of mind-exercise to take some memory-recall (and probably, blog it). Aside from recalling (aka doing throwbacks), I will “activate” again my passion-button and live purposefully, or what do you call that? wholeheartedly!

No excuses, no alibis.

Have to be at the moment ALWAYS.

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52Weeks Adventure/Challenge:

Week 1 Blogging… (get that courage and keep the momentum)

#52weeks

A Month and A Week….

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I am missing my blog and blogging… I missed being inspired… it seemed without writing my thoughts, I am uprooted and in many places. Focus. that’s what I need now. And I need to blog/write to make my mind clearer and my priorities checked.

Anyway, best time to begin is always “now” … never mind that my last entry was Dec 2012 and the second last was July 2012…  I will keep at this for now….

I think I have not started my 2013 right… feels like a roller-coaster in the past month and past week (company take-over, store opening, new implementation at work place, while there are new projects, new demands in our business, plus it is now tax season)… It passed by with me doing so many things yet it seemed accomplishing nothing. I lacked planning and got lost. I am losing focus. And it frustrates me now,,, feels like it is making me more unproductive… Plus, there are lot of people (staff) who are banking on my directions and leadership.

Well, it will not get better if I whine and continue to be dismayed… I have to pick up myself and start again. NOW is the time to start afresh (January will not come back, not until next year). Focus on few things. Relax. Set goals. No pressure. Delegate. Depend on the Team. Unwind. Pray.

I will get by…. I will pass this… with lots “done” …

Will update soon….circles

Blogger of the Week: Kindness Girl

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Kindness Girl… Because Kindness Changes Everything…

I love this blogsite! It is full of warmth and goodness and of course, kindness… It chronicles one mum’s ideas, projects and actions of kindness…. Ms. Patience Salgado must have a very big heart and she inspires so many people. BEING kind by itself is one thing but SHOWING kindness either small, menial, random, deliberate, grand or simple, almost everyday and every moment is one great and noble feat. And I admire Ms Salgado’s for her deeds and mission!

See for yourself and be inspired! Kindness Girl…

 

And one of my favorite entries is about
5 things to do when doors are closing…

By the way, her photographs are amazing too!