There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.” A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one..
That being subtle and courteous doesn’t pay off if you want to drive a point intensely.
However, putting raw emotions on written arguments also doesn’t pay-off.
But at the end of the day, summarizing it, being decent and professional is still the whole point.
…Just a piece of thought after an emotionally-drained moment at work.
from Sarah Abbott flickr
We can’t have it all! We can’t be “lucky” all the time…:)
While last week was a “Colorful Week,” this week was a “Demented Week”…. well I am not complaining… Because I know “this too shall pass…”
Rather than enumerating what happened, I’ll just recap here my feelings and thoughts (good or bad–sensya na) and the lessons and insights I’ve learned out from it (and that’s the important part naman!)
😦 People can be so mean just to make sure that they look good to the management.
😦 Professionalism speaks many language and has many perspective
😦 “you should be on top of the situation!” has suddenly become a tagline of people who actually are not on “top” but want to impress that they are! Huh!
😦 siya na nga! “know-it-all” and “blamelessly perfect” people annoy me so much….
😦 Remorse is not their trait….
😦 two big words for the week: accountability and accounting…
Well, life must go on…
😮 Inspite of it all, I am keeping my values and I am still “intact” and not “losing” myself.
😮 My first instinct is to fight back, but restrained myself, if I’ll do that, I will just put myself to their “level,” and because that was not the right thing to do
😮 for the sake of my people who are working hard for the projects, I just have to be more “loud” about it. Just blowing the horn here and there. I owe it to them!
😮 just have to learn the lessons out of it and improve!
😮 I still believe that the world still belong to few people who are WILLING to make their hands dirty! (click here)
I will not allow this week to be uneventful… I am still grateful for good graces and blessings that came my way this week!
🙂 Opportunity to give lectures to new staff
🙂 Have fun in our badminton night with friends and staff
🙂 Reading good books this week, of course including Bible…
🙂 A chance to attend Gung Ho seminar again, this time as a judge and had fun (again)
🙂 Am happy to give up a book “What so Amazing About Grace” to a wonderful person, Bro Jojo Baldo (I really wanted to give him “The Shack” by Paul WM Young, but can’t find one at National’s)
🙂 Getting ready for the teambuilding next week, me as a team captain for blue team…
🙂 And my week will be capped-off by a nice family outing tomorrow. yeheyy!!…
It’s that time of year again when our thoughts turn to making new GOALS. The enticing prospect of a blank year ahead invites us to think about what we would like to be different in our lives, how we want to improve ourselves and the work we do. And yet so often, the good intentions of GOAL-SETTING of early January have dwindled down to just IDEAS as we go along the way, sometimes not to be brought out again until next year. And we are left with the same feeling of frustration that another year has passed and nothing has changed.
What happens? One common reason is that we quickly go back to our ‘normal’ lives and the usual routines and along with our usual habits!
So how can it be different?
I hope the following TIPS will make it different for this year:
1. Be clear about what you want – BE specific about what you do want. For example, if you have written “lose weight”, write down how much you want to lose and by when
2. Write it Down – Writing down why you want something will give you a handy reminder to go back to when you’re feeling un motivated.
3. Be specific about what you will do – It’s very hard to be in action around a vague list of “will do more of…” and “will do less of…”. If you gave your list to someone else would they know exactly what you were doing when?
4. Know what stops you – There will be times when it feels hard to be in action. Being honest with yourself about what will stop you now will let you plan for these situations rather than ending your resolutions.
5. Create support structures – Put support structures in place now that will keep you on track. Maximize team effort for team goals. Try buddy system, or use “tracker” or require team to do regular feedback.
6. Be in action – Sometimes the only thing that is required is to just do it! For no other reason that you said you would.
7. Embrace imperfection – Sometimes things will not go to plan. It happens. Don’t let it throw you off track completely. Make adjustments, come up with new ways of doing things, create a new plan for the imperfect world you live in. It’s perfect.
8. When failing isn’t failing – Feeling that you’ve failed at something can be a real kick in the teeth and the end to achieving goals. So think of failing differently. Failing means you are doing something different, possibly something new. Failing isn’t failing, it’s just not having done it yet. Fail Forward!
9. Reward yourself – Don’t hold out until the “big prize”. Create reward points along the way. Reward yourself for being in action. Be kind to yourself and use the carrot, or lots of carrots, and not the stick!
10. Enjoy! – Most importantly, your new year’s resolution (goals) are about being happier, more fulfilled, enjoying your life and work. If it is a punishment list put it in the bin right now!
See also my collection of “Tips & Insights” here
My goal is to have conscious effort to teach kids about life’s lessons. Teaching them, among others, Religion, Generosity, Finance, History, Art, Right Manners and Having Dreams….. I really made it sure to have moments with my two boys talking and making stories. Time is short and I believe that most of the lessons we’ve learned were gained while we were still kids….
For this goal, I will consider this complete if I have taught them (or at least, talked to them about) 101 things related to above areas in life and many more. So here is the partial list:
1. Recite “Ama Namin” (“Our Father” in Tagalog) – (Lean already knew the English version since he was 3)
2. Story of the Fisherman’s Wife who was never satisfied, a lesson about greed (Lean)
3. Playing fair and square (while we were playing chess) (Lean)
4. About winning/losing without cheating (while playing Snakes and Ladder) (Lean)
5. Reading aloud a book about “Beliefs” (Lean was having fun counting the word “beliefs” I mentioned)
6. About habit formation at around adolescent years (Jolo)
7. Taught Jolo to save money for something he really wants to buy.
8. About being generous (Lean brought a spare Lego for his friend Aaron)
9. Talking about the course they want to take in college (it doesn’t matter even if they change mind every now and then)
10. Doing the best he can in every project he handles (Jolo)
11. About working hard, and about sowing and reaping (as Lean play the “Farmer” online game)
12. Rewards and consequences in attaining goals
13. Helps Jolo form his habit to clean his face every night, among others.
14. Helps Lean form his “4-things to do” habits every night. (Toothbrush, take a pee, clean his feet, pray)
15. Washing dishes every weekend (Jolo)
(see as the list grow at “Lesson Plan for Kids” at “My Life’s List” widget)
For our future curriculum, we will include:
a. Jolo’s lessons in Civics and history (2 facts everyday)
b. Art attack with Lean
c. Generosity-in-Action, when they accompany me in distributing toys for less-fortunate kids this Xmas
d. More practice on Po and Opo
e. Read World History to Lean (his favorite)
f. loving siblings
g. open bank account in their name
h. about being a friend
i. buying and using money (Lean)
(see as the list grow at “Lesson Plan for Kids” at “My Life’s List” widget)